“Why do some adults or parents assume that every young adult is sexually active?”
This is a question that has been bothering me and I am writing about it because I want clarity. At first I was a bit apprehensive about talking about this because I was afraid of what people would say and how some people would react. BUT, I always say, it’s your life. Live it. I have met some adults that have automatically assumed that I am sexually active and to be honest- it is extremely disturbing. I attended a leadership conference late last year and one of the facilitators that was talking about “Safe Sex” asked me if I had seen a circumcised male organ. My response was, “No I have never” and his response was, “Oh, what a shame.” I was taken aback.
Firstly, you don’t just ask someone you do not know if they have seen a circumcised male organ. Secondly, his response was shocking. I will give you a few more encounters:
- I attended another conference and the lady giving the speech said “I know you are all sexually active.” Again, I was shocked.
- Recently, I was talking to my friends and associates about turning 21 and I excitedly showed them my key. Two different adults on two separate occasions basically said “Why are you even getting a key? Haven’t you unlocked it all already?”
I do not understand why some adults think that every young adult is having sex. In the past, I have so much unnecessary pressure to be sexually active so that I live up to their “expectations” in order to relate to what they are saying or what they think. I hate that I have been at a point in my life were such comments have made me feel uncomfortable, out of place
and abnormal.Society sets a certain pace and tone in our environment and this thought of "Every young adult is having sex" is one I am speaking against. IT IS NOT OKAY to make assumptions about an individual’s sex life. If you want to talk about it, you ask about it. SEEK CLARITY.Always.
I respect people that want to give sex education. It is good. However, I encourage and urge the people that automatically assume that every young adult is sexually active to practice engagement. Engage with the youth. Find your audience and that way your message becomes impactful. Hey, if you approach me and ask if I am sexually active or not and then continue with your presentation, I will respect that. However, I find it difficult to respect people that make false assumptions about my life.
To anyone that has been in my position: you are enough. You are normal. You do not have to live according to anyone’s expectations. Identify who you are as an individual and it will help you when you come across challenging situations that make you question how you live life. When you become a young adult, you make choices for your life. You make rules, goals and a vision. You become the CEO of your life. Never doubt yourself. As long as that is the path YOU have chosen for yourself. Whether it is being sexually active or being a virgin- If that is the path you want and the one you have chosen for yourself- Do not be ashamed of it. Be the CEO of your life.
To some of the parents or adults that assume every young adult is having sex- assumptions keep you stagnant. Instead, Engage because engagement opens doors for knowledge.
Remember
Stay safe during these hard times
WEAR YOUR MASK
MAINTAIN PHYSICAL DISTANCE – at least 1 meter apart
Wash and sanitise your hands
and most importantly support your loved ones.
We will get through these hard times.
Introspective but it makes sense❣️ cuz it's all facts and reality. It's the other side of the coin. I like this article and it can be applied to the norms or should I say, so called standards set by environment. You know not everything applies to everyone, were all different and life's a matrix, we all have our own choices, the human mind is different from all the others
There is a lot of assumptions people may make about others based on what they've heard rather than facts. World wide it's been noted people born from 1990's onward do have less sex than one would assume and a number of them feel like their colleges have a lot of it. Outside a number of spaces thinking they are free to discuss and make value judgements of women, there might be a disconnect in how people understand dating today. A lot of media presents the image of sex being a regular part of a you adult' s life but those are constructed notions, sure plenty of people have sex but it isn't our business most of the time to ask…
I think the same way people can spread gossip is the same way parents can talk about their kids having sex and it just spreads like wild fire
For example...
Mom 1: i found an empty packet of condoms in my son's/daughter's bag since he/she started learning at UZ, i think these child there are having sex before marriage
Mom 2: i think so too. My child is always going to parties and they do things ikoko
Mom 3: not my child
Mom 1: are you sure? Remember how it was when we were in school, the craziest of things happen at these gatherings
So partly could be a matter of they know how things were at some point, or…